The Force is Weak with This One

Yes. That is correct. I am my own weakest link. You would think (possibly) that being armed with this knowledge (maybe) would make it easier for me to make the necessary changes, correct? That it would be easier for me to make the correct choices, to do the things I should do instead of the things I really want to do... right?

Apparenlty not so right.

Last night before I went around closing up the laundry rooms for the apartment complex, I thought to myself, "Okay. the start date of Monday didn't happen exactly as you'd wanted. But let's change that tomorrow. Let's just get it going!" So I made sure my gym bag was packed with my work outfit, towels, tiny shampoo, conditioner, and face scrub, etc. I set my workout clothes on top of it so I could easily throw them on without thinking as I stumbled around in my just-woke-up-haze at 4:45 AM. I did my rounds and promptly went to bed upon my return home (which is virtually unheard of for me. I get back from my rounds, as I call them, around 10:15/10:30 PM and then hang out for an hour to hours). I was really tired as I had only slept 2 hours the night before, so I think I was asleep long before my head even hit the pillow.

I did wake up at 4:45 AM... and then again at 5:58 AM! Yes, I had slept through my alarm. sigh So there was another morning workout not begun. Instead of doing what I should have done - like doing three or four of the 5 minute workouts I have on my cell phone, I took a long shower, and had three cookies for breakfast. double sigh Then, as if I needed icing on this terrible cake of a morning, I drove to work. DROVE. For 1 block, I drove. WHAT?! The weather wasn't even in a way that I would need to drive. ugh.

Okay, okay, I hear you. I'm picking myself up. I am dusting myself off. I will make sure that second breakfast, elevensies, luncheon, afternoon tea, supper, and dinner are all the well-rounded, good meals they should be. And even though my mind is screaming for a soda, I will resist.

IthinkIcan...IthinkIcan...IthinkIcan...IknowIcan...IknowIcan...

I KNOW I CAN!

Where Does it all Go?

The time, that is. Or the motivation, the drive, the get up and go... I've lost it and can't seem to figure out where the jerk has run off to.

Forgive me, readers, for I have lapsed. It has been almost three months since my last entry. Not too much exciting has happened in the interum. I've kind of been floating in this... limbo-like state. I haven't been working out like I used to, if at all. I haven't been eating like I used to. It's like I've come up to that damned wall. AGAIN! What am I afraid of? Why can't I just hop this wall like I've hopped the other, apparently smaller, walls? GAH! In the last month (January 24 to today) I have gained five pounds.

Okay. Not SO bad. I can deal with that. I can start anew.

Can't I? Sometimes my brain sure doesn't think so. Even so, I have devised a NEW long-term goal. A NEW short-term goal. And I have started to take the baby steps towards it. If I'm not back in full swing by my birthday (March 5th), then I might have to ask y'all to search me out and KICK. MY. ARSE!!!