Breaking the Habit

     Yes. As scary and somewhat heartbreaking as it is, the above is a visual description of my journey thus far. Let's go back a couple of weeks, shall we?



     The last post I made was on Wednesday the 27th of June. I had just hit the 30 pound loss mark and was thrilled. Since that time; I have had some good days, some not-so-good days, some GREAT days, and some really horrible days. I'm still fighting the good fight, though. I have come to a place where if I have a "bad food day" or "bad exercise day", I don't get too down on myself for it. I've realized that hey, it is going to happen. I am but human (though if you ask my kids, they may say I'm a superhero).

     So when my husband discovered the photo we had taken just a couple weeks into my company's Biggest Loser competition last fall (above left), I was really shocked at what I saw! I had just come home from Zumba class and was in the kitchen making an early lunch for everyone. From the living room I hear my husband say, "Bethanie, you need to step out here for a second." Naturally I was annoyed because I was in the middle of making two peanut butter and honey sandwiches and sides of fruit for the kids, and Reubens for us. When I didn't pop out right away, he repeated himself, so I stepped into the dining room and said, "What?!" He did a few back-and-forth looks between me and his monitor, and then told me I HAD to come there. So I did, and what I saw stopped me dead in my tracks and literally brought tears to my eyes.

     There, staring at me in 1080p glory, was a marshmallow shaped me. I stood there; still soaked in sweat from class (as you see in the above right photo), half the fixings for sandwiches in my hands, staring at his screen. After the initial shock wore off, the disgust rolled in. How could I have let myself GET like that? I wondered. The thought that followed was regarding the image I have of myself locked away in my grey matter. It finally really hit home, then, that I AM making great changes. That I AM making noticeable changes in my physical self, and along with that in my mentality. So I immediately had my husband snap a photo of me to record my progress.

     The image above will help me to remember that it is worth it. That I am doing things right, and doing enough. It will be a long journey, but the fact that I'm on it and creating successes is a wonderful feeling.